I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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