Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
