not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
