Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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