He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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