You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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