She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
