I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't think brook has ever known best
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
