You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
