how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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