p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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