He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
