well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
