so let's talk penis.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
