Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
