Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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