Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
