I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
