I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
