Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize