We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
