i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
