My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The feeling are messing with the penis
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
