I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
