so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
honey bunches of taint.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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