seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
