I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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