walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
