I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize