she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
