I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In other news, I just burned my penis
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
