3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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