I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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