Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
