Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
