i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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