No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
