My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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