her vagine was all disorganized.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
