yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize