worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
