I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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