don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
