I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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