you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
