Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
In America we eat man semen.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
