the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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