I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
