can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
