we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize