Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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