i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
