where does the pee come out of this thing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize