in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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