just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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