her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
