my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
