i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
