i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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