i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
