So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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