You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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