I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
