i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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