i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
