On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
