my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize