it wasn't lemon gatorade
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize