This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
